We certainly do not approve of any acts that hurt others. However, from the victim's point of view, can we penalize the one we hate? Or should we just go on suffering ourselves? A girl as young as 12 can understand and forgive her father and give him her blessings even though her father chose an absolutely irrational way to handle his own problem. As we re-examine ourselves, how should we react to people and things that irritate us, like a supervisor's critical comment or misunderstanding of a family member?

When we are hurt by others, most of us tend to escape in order not to be hurt again; or look for a chance to take revenge. Although these actions are common, they in fact do more harm than good to our physical and mental health as well as interpersonal relationship. Research shows that our heartbeat and blood pressure rise significantly when we refuse to forgive others. This is harmful to our body in the long run, and we may suffer as a result from illnesses such as coronary heart disease.

However, is it really that easy to forgive others wholeheartedly? The most difficult part in so doing is to suppress our inner struggles. Why should we give in to an obvious unfair remark? Michael E. McCullough, a psychologist, is of the opinion that to a certain extent, forgiving others contradicts with one's own will. When you choose to forgive, you have to give up your intention to take revenge and escape. We can easily see why people usually say, "it's easier said than done". However, difficult does not mean impossible. Once you understand how to forgive, you will be able to free yourself from the cage of hatred. We will talk about how to make it happen in our next issue.

Stress management workshops

The PSG will organise a series of stress management workshops to be conducted in Chinese.

* Date (choose one):

(1) July 6 (2) September 14

* Time: 8.45 am - 12.30 pm (Participants are requested to arrive 15 minutes early)

* Venue: Police Sports and Recreation Club Sportsman Bar

* Reservation: PSG (2866-6207)

Thirty places for each session will be allocated on a first-come, first-served basis.

Seek advice and help from the Psychological Services Group:

PHQ, Hong Kong Island and Marine: 2866-6206 (5/F, 111 Leighton Road, Causeway Bay); Kowloon and the New Territories: 2735-3739 (22/F, Ocean Building, 80 Shanghai Street, Kowloon).

PEN: psg@police.gov.hk